Tag Archive | hurtful

Why are people so hateful…… :( This is why I’m a hermit……

Hi everybody, happy Friday!

I need to vent……yes I know, seems like I do that a  lot.  Sorry, but y’all are the best way for me to do this.  I don’t think anyone I know reads my blog anyway, so it’s a perfect way for me to vent and nobody cares.

Soooo, many years ago, we started traveling full time for my hubby’s job.  This requires mostly campground living.  The are some absolutely awesome things about the job, so I’m not complaining about that part of it.  We are soooo very blessed that we’ve gotten to see and do all the things we have!  What I AM complaining about is the part that is not so awesome.  You meet lots of people and many many of them are “on the job” too.  You do not always work with the same people on each job, but from time to time you do see them again…there are times, you wish you didn’t.  We’ve been doing this for 12 years on the road full time, and early on (about 3 years in) I learned that people can be very mean and hateful.  They can be worse than those mean girls in school and I’m sooo not kidding.  When you’re in a campground, everybody knows everybody else’s business because you’re in close quarters.  I USED to be really sociable.  I would visit and get to know everyone on the job.  Go to lunch, shopping, all that fun stuff with “the girls”. I learned my lesson though.  I was mistreated, lied about, and ridiculed enough that I quit talking to people and started staying inside all the time, except to take my dogs out or go to the store.  I quit going lunch, shopping, having “girl” days.  It just wasn’t worth it to me.  I am always nice to everyone, but I no longer socialize like I used to.  It’s sad, I know, but you can only take so much.  We even try to stay in campgrounds where we don’t know anyone, or at least away from people we may know.

I have only kept up with a handful of the people we’ve met over the years.  We don’t really “talk”, but we keep in touch from time to time.  Someone that I’ve known for many years….our hubby’s worked on a few jobs together over the years…..sent me a message today.  She told me that this other person told her that I had told a bunch of women something about her and wanted to know if it was true.  Good grief.  The last time I saw either of them was 3-4 years ago, and I don’t tell anyone anything.  Why would I do that to someone?  I literally try to live by the Golden Rule and darned sure don’t want anyone else to have to go through what I’ve been through.  I thought she knew me well enough to know that (She was pre-hermit stage), but apparently not since she still felt the need to ask, which tells me she wondered, and that really hurts my heart. 😦  I thanked her for coming directly to me with it though.  People’s personal business is none of my business, and I just don’t do things like that.  Apparently you don’t even have to be within 1000 miles of someone and they’ll still use and abuse you somehow, because they have nothing else better to do, even if they haven’t seen you in year! My feelings are so hurt I want to scream!   I don’t even tell anyone anything about myself anymore because why the heck would they care anyway?  Might as well keep all my problems, non-problems, sadness, and everything else to myself or it be misconstrued as who knows what.  No one cares anyway.  You can’t even be a good hermit without people trying to hurt you.  All people seem to care about is hurting others, or stirring stuff up and starting stuff to hurt people.  It’s just heart breaking. 😦 Because of caddy women like this, my poor hubby literally has to drag me out to go anywhere.  I order online as much as possible just so that I don’t have to go anywhere.  Sad huh?  I only leave the house when I absolutely have to.  I’ve learned to be perfectly happy this way.  Just me, my hubby and our dogs.

We were in an area recently for a couple of years, which was great.  We met lots of great people, but yet again, we ran into some of those saaaaame kind of people that do those same kind of things that made me want to not go out anymore.  I’m very cautious around people anymore and it takes a lot to earn my trust and friendship, but can you blame me?

Here I was having a great day today, and then this….  I met several nice people at the grocery store today that had improved my faith, somewhat, in a friendly humanity, in an area that I’m new to…..for a couple hours anyway…

It’s so hard for me because I’m one of those people that is naturally trusting, and just wants to help everyone, but you can get abused just so much before you want to crawl under a rock and not come out….

Soo, back to being a hermit……

Until next time, have a happy healthy day!  🙂

 

Be mindful of your words…..

Good morning everyone!!!

I just wanted to mention something that not everyone thinks about, that maybe they should.  Be mindful of your words.  What I mean is that even though you don’t think you’ve said anything wrong, there could be a possibility that you just completely deflated someone to the point of them feeling like they went from being excited of hopefully being able to try something new that they’ve been working towards for years, to feeling like an utter and complete failure, and that all their hard work was for naught.  All it takes is one little sentence to make someone that’s already struggling with low self-esteem to plummet to zero self-esteem.

I was an unfortunate witness to this and thought I should share.  Even if YOU don’t think someone can do something, they should be allowed to think they can so they have a chance to either prove you wrong, or maybe even right, but if they feel like there is no point in trying they will never know if they’ll soar or not.  Who knows, they could become highly successful…..or not, but they deserve a chance to try.

I realize that sometimes you don’t even realize you said something wrong, or that you said something that was unintentionally hurtful (and you may never know because they’ll never tell you), but it does happen, and all you can do is try and be supportive if you happen to figure out you that you said or did something.  This is another spot where the Golden Rule comes in to play….which is also Matthew 7:12…”Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”.  Just a friendly reminder to please TRY and be mindful of your words.

Smile, be kind (even when you don’t want to be, do your best – you never know what someone is going through), and always do your best to be optimistic and positive. Your life is based on choices.  If you choose to be happy, there’s a much better chance that you will be happy.  If you choose to be negative, mean and hateful, well, then, guess what?  You probably will be.  I just ask that you do your best to be the best you that you can be. You just never know, you could be the reason someone becomes successful, or happy, or decided to do something amazing.  Try to be a good influence and try like crazy to even love the people that you would reallllly like to throttle.  It’s hard (believe me I definitely know), but at least try.  I promise it CAN make a difference….in your life AND theirs.

Okay, off my soapbox…..

Until next time, stay warm, and have a happy healthy day!!! 🙂